Tuesday, February 4, 2014

my mind is a hostile work environment

here we are, knee-deep into the hustlebustle of work, school, and mothering. i a little bit love my life right now, although it’s full of craziness. here is my reasoning: i love my daughter and i love my husband and i love teaching and i love learning and pretty much that’s all i do. i try to maintain that perspective when i’m super duper tired.

something i learned last week is that i am not superwoman and nobody wins a medal for running yourself into the ground. (or being able to button your pre-pregnancy pants at four months post-partum, for what it's worth).

last week, we were blessed with four snow days, only one of which included dangerous driving conditions for our neck of the woods. i still had workdays, but was able to spend extra time snuggling with my daughter. and filling up with an extra dose of you shouldas and oughttas. how annoying. why does the highly prized beast of productivity and efficiency smack right into the blessing of rest and relationship? will it always be this way?

i find this is a recurring theme in my life lately. i am horrible at relaxing but long for it to no end. the thought of eternal rest, to be completely honest, terrifies me. what does this say about the core of my soul? do i glorify my ability to produce and accomplish? have i turned a good thing into an ultimate thing? we were created to work and commanded to rest and maybe this is the tension i must live with this side of heaven.

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